silly white girl

If humiliation brought on labor, I'd be reporting the baby's birth by now. But it doesn't, so instead, here's the humiliating story:

On Saturday, Claire and I went garage saling, and I found myself in a not-so-great neighborhood but not a terrible one, and I really wasn't nervous. As I pulled up to the garage sale at about 9 in the morning, a huge boat of a car ('80s Oldsmobile or Buick?) pulls up and parks right in front of me. Now this powder blue car is not only huge, it is lifted up high on hydraulics or something, with little shiny wheels and its sound system was definitely one of a kind, considering how loud the music had been booming. Four huge Hispanic guys get out of the car at the same time I'm getting Claire out of the van. The driver and I make eye contact, and for some crazy reason, I felt compelled to say something to him. I don't know why, but as always, I hate dead silence, so I conclude it's weird to not say hello or something to this crew. But of course, I decided against an easy "hello" or "good morning" and instead my mind races to think of something to say to show how both cool and hip I am. So, with a big smile, I said, "Hey, looks like your ride's been pimped." Thud. It was the single stupidest thing I could have said, and as soon as the words left my mouth -- as if in slow motion -- I wanted to retrieve them but alas, I could not. The guys said nothing at first, just stared at me and each other for a moment, and then simultaneously they all started laughing, first clapping their hands, then walked up to us and started high fiving and fist pumping me. They just kept remarking how funny it was and one said, "Look at the mamacita, talking about your ride, man!" and another patted Claire on the head. Then they walked away from us, still laughing and addressing each other with a sortof British affectation, "Looks like your ride's been pimped!" and "oi there, looks like your ride's been pimped!" The whole thing was so ridiculous and though we walked over to the garage sale, we only stayed for a minute because I was horrified that someone had overheard the conversation I'd had, so we basically just walked to the sale and then bee-lined it back to our van. So, there you go: humiliation does not induce labor. Lesson learned. Just another precious keepsake to hold onto from our unique New Mexico experience.